125 Single, Seen, and Still Called: Rethinking Love in the Church
Pamela
“If we get to the end of our lives and if we have followed, been faithful and we’ve prayed and we’ve listened and we’ve gone where He has taken us, we will never look back and regret that decision.”
Lauren Windle
WHO IS LAUREN WINDLE?
Lauren Windle is a British journalist, author, presenter, and public speaker known for her work on faith, love, feminism, and pop culture. She’s the author of Notes on Love, Notes on Feminism, and Drawing as Prayer, and has written for outlets including Vogue, Marie Claire, and the Church Times. A former Christian recovery service founder, she’s been clean and sober from drug and alcohol addiction for over a decade. Lauren has hosted Christian dating shows, co-hosted the podcast Cross Culture, and delivered a TEDx Talk on her journey to recovery, which has over half a million views. She regularly speaks at conferences and events, blending personal testimony with insights on faith, identity, and culture.
Some conversations arrive at exactly the right moment. My discussion with Lauren Windle was one of those.
When I invited Lauren onto the podcast, I had no idea how much her words would speak into my own life. In fact, she replied to my invitation so quickly that I knew this conversation was meant to happen.
Around that time, I had just moved into a new apartment in a new city. As I unpacked boxes, I caught myself thinking, Maybe I shouldn’t buy furniture yet. It seemed practical enough. Why buy a dining table or decorate a home that might one day belong to someone else too?
Then Lauren shared a story that stopped me in my tracks.
She spoke about a man who had delayed buying furniture because he was waiting for the day he would have a wife to choose it with. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was almost identical to my own thinking.
Sometimes God speaks so gently that it almost feels like a whisper. Other times He uses someone else’s story to shine a light on our own.
Lauren’s point was simple but profound: we are not called to put our lives on hold while waiting for marriage.
We are called to live fully now.
Singleness is not the waiting room before life begins. It is a season of purpose, growth, joy, and service. The deepest friendship and greatest love we will ever know is not found in a spouse—it is found in Jesus Christ. Every other relationship flows from that one.
That truth changes everything.
Dating with intention, not obsession
Lauren also offered refreshingly practical advice about dating apps.
Rather than endlessly swiping left and right until the experience becomes exhausting or discouraging, she recommends opening the app for just two or three minutes. Look at someone’s profile. Consider their hopes, interests, and dreams. If you’d genuinely like to know them, reach out. If not, close the app.
You’ve “done” dating for the day.
It’s such a healthy perspective. Dating shouldn’t consume our emotional energy or become our identity. It’s simply one avenue through which God may choose to bring someone into our lives.
Don’t settle just to avoid being alone
One of the most powerful moments in our conversation came when Lauren said that if our goal were simply to be married—to anyone—we probably could have achieved that already.
But that’s not God’s desire for us.
We’re not looking for just any partner. We’re seeking someone who will walk with us toward Christ, someone who shares our faith and our calling. Marriage isn’t simply about companionship; it’s about discipleship together.
Waiting for the right person may be difficult, but settling for the wrong one is far more costly.
Already chosen
Perhaps my favorite reminder from Lauren was this:
“Being chosen by another person will never define you when you’ve already been chosen by the Most High God.”
How often do we allow our worth to rise and fall with whether someone texts back, notices us, or commits to us?
The gospel tells a different story.
Before anyone ever chose us, Christ did.
Our identity isn’t rooted in relationship status but in belonging to Him.
Grieving with hope
Lauren doesn’t pretend that singleness is always easy. She acknowledges the sadness that can come with missed milestones, changing timelines, and watching friends move into seasons you long for yourself.
It’s okay to grieve those things.
But as Christians, we grieve differently.
We grieve with hope.
Hope that God has not forgotten us.
Hope that His timing is wiser than ours.
Hope that His plans are never second best.
One of Lauren’s greatest encouragements was that God’s plan will never be worse than the one we would have written for ourselves.
That doesn’t mean it will look exactly as we imagined. Sometimes God’s story unfolds in ways we never expected. But we can trust that whatever He has prepared is ultimately better than anything we could have orchestrated on our own.
So if you’re single today and wondering whether you’ve been overlooked, remember this:
Live your life now.
Buy the furniture.
Decorate your home.
Pursue your calling.
Invest in friendships.
Serve the Church.
Keep your heart open, but don’t put your life on pause.
Because the greatest love story has already begun—the one between you and the Savior who chose you first. And every other chapter is safest when written in His hands.
Listen, Share, and Join the Conversation
Check out some of our other episodes on Praying for your Future Spouse and Chastity. If this conversation encouraged you, challenged your perspective, or reminded you that you are deeply loved and seen by God, I’d love for you to share it with someone who needs to hear it.
Please like, follow, and share this episode on whichever platform you listened—whether that’s Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or your favorite podcast app. Every share helps these conversations reach more people who may be navigating singleness, waiting, or wondering where God is leading them.
And if you enjoyed this episode, consider leaving a rating or review. It helps others discover the podcast and encourages us to keep sharing stories of faith, hope, and God’s faithfulness.
