We probably already know what fruit of the Spirit we need.

Sheri Wolhfert

WHO IS SHERI WOHLFERT?

Sheri Wohlfert is a passionate, joyful, coffee-loving daughter of God!  She uses her great sense of humor and her deep faith to help others discover the joy of being a child of God. Her roots are in Kansas, but her home is in Westphalia, Michigan. Sheri and her husband Dave have been married more than thirty years. She is the mother of three adult children and the grandmother of three adorable little humans!  Sheri has a degree in Secondary education from Emporia State University in Emporia, Kansas and a Masters degree in Elementary Education from Aquinas College in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Her faith is authentic, her attitude is contagious, and her approach is down to earth, relatable, humorous, and real. If you’re looking for a presenter who can leave the audience laughing, praying, thinking and equipped with practical tools to go out and live the Gospel, Sheri is the presenter you’re looking for. 

Practical Pentecost Living

The newest episode of the Christian Circle Podcast feels like one of those conversations that stays with you long after it ends. It’s especially meaningful to me because I had written to Sheri at Pentecost months ago asking her to record an episode on practical Pentecost living — and in true Holy Spirit fashion, we somehow ended up recording it only after I moved. The timing wasn’t planned, but it was perfect.

Sheri’s Real-Life Stories of Growing with the Holy Spirit

Sheri opens the episode by sharing examples from her own life — honest, vulnerable moments where the Holy Spirit helped her grow. Not in dramatic, cinematic ways, but in the slow, stretching seasons that most of us would rather skip.

She reminds us that living with the Spirit isn’t just about joy or inspiration. Often, it’s about letting the Spirit walk with us through painful periods — the places where growth feels uncomfortable, where surrender feels costly, and where transformation is happening quietly beneath the surface.

Her stories make Pentecost feel less like a distant event and more like a daily companionship.

Teaching Children to See God — And Teaching Ourselves

One of the most beautiful parts of the episode is when Sheri talks about her intentional practice with her students. Every day, she would ask them:

“Where have I seen God today?”

It’s simple. It’s profound. And it’s something she encourages all of us to ask ourselves too. That question shifts your attention. It trains your spirit to look for God in the ordinary — the commute, the conversations, the moments of patience you didn’t think you had.

It’s a practice of spiritual attentiveness that anyone can adopt.

Her Nightly Prayer: “Holy Spirit, Come Now”

Before going to bed each night, Sheri prays:

“Holy Spirit, come. Come now and give an abundance of what I need.”

She says that most of us already know the fruit we’re lacking — patience, gentleness, courage, peace — but instead of trying to manufacture it ourselves, we should simply ask the Spirit to fill the gap.

Her advice is so practical and so doable that I found myself quietly praying it on the bus to work. Just a simple, whispered invitation: “Holy Spirit, come now.”

It changes the atmosphere inside you.

Pentecost as a Lifestyle

Sheri’s wisdom on practical Pentecost living is gentle, grounded, and deeply profound. She shows that Pentecost isn’t a one-day celebration — it’s a way of living:

• Ask for the fruit you lack instead of forcing yourself to “be better.”
• Invite the Spirit intentionally in small, ordinary moments.
• Notice God’s presence throughout your day.
• Let the Spirit meet you in pain, not just in celebration.

Her practices aren’t complicated — they’re accessible, repeatable, and transformative.

A Final Thought

This episode feels like a gentle nudge to live Pentecost in real time — not just in church, but in classrooms, kitchens, commutes, and quiet moments before bed. Sheri’s voice carries the kind of wisdom that makes you want to slow down, breathe, and pay attention.

ENJOYED THIS PODCAST

You might also like our conversation on Meditating and Seeking the Guidance of the Holy Spirit. And if this blessed you, please share the podcast with someone who needs it.

The post 126: Practical Everyday Pentecost Living appeared first on PAMELA Q. FERNANDES.

Today marks ten years since my father, Paul Richard Fernandes, went home to the Lord.

Ten years.

Even writing those words feels surreal.

This morning, I attended Mass at St. Lucy’s Church as part of my continued search for a parish to call home. Sitting quietly before the Lord, I found myself reflecting on how much life has changed in the last decade.

When my father died, I could not imagine continuing to live without him. I didn’t know how I would ever move forward. I was, quite literally, on my knees before the cross, clinging to Jesus by the thinnest of threads. As I wrote in Ten Reminders for the Grieving Christian, my faith was fragile, and Christ was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

And yet, here I am.

Ten years later.

Looking back now, I can see what I could not see then. God was at work even in the deepest suffering. There truly is purpose in pain. There is growth in trials. The road has been long, but the Lord has been faithful every step of the way.

The Example of LOVE

If there is one gift my father left me, it was the example of how to love.

I said it at his eulogy, and I believe it even more today:

I know what God’s love is because I first experienced my father’s love.

If my earthly father could love me so completely, how much greater must the love of my Heavenly Father be?

I was—and still am—perfectly loved.

My father loved deeply. He never held back. He hugged us tightly, showered us with kisses, and said “I love you” more times than I can count. He never left us wondering where we stood in his heart.

Forgive easily

That love naturally led to another lesson: forgiveness.

My father forgave easily. He was always the first to make peace. If he was wrong, he apologized without pride. Whether it was in his marriage or work, he would let go. If someone hurt him, he chose to let go rather than carry bitterness. Love made forgiveness possible.

Be a Giver

He was generous.

Not just with money, but with his time, his attention, and his presence. Everyone knew that if they asked Richard for help, he would do everything he could to help them. He gave because that was simply who he was. I have realized that generosity is the fruit of the Spirit. It’s difficult to be generous. People are so exacting, and the world is full of give and take. My father was never like that. He gave even when it hurt. He knew what it was to ask and be turned down. So, when people asked, he always gave.

Someone You Can Count On

He was dependable.

I have never met another man as dependable as my father. If he gave his word, you never questioned whether he would keep it. He would walk through fire for the people he loved, even if it came at great personal cost. He would show up and keep his word.

A Good Friend

He was also a remarkable friend.

People sought his advice because he listened before he spoke. He valued other people’s opinions and made them feel heard. That kind of listening is a rare gift.

Always Joyful

My father was joyful.

He laughed often. He could find humor in almost anything. He was the life of every gathering, always smiling, always making others smile too. His joy was contagious. We had fun when we went for beach walks or on a long drive; he would tell us jokes and stories that had us laughing. Every day, he would come back from work and tell us about it. And now, when I look back at it, there was nothing funny about it; just the way he told it was hilarious. My dad was making memes before they were even a thing. In the pictures above, he has his flight ticket in his pocket. He’s at the airport, asking us to click pictures of him pulling a cart and dressed as a Maratha. He loved to do silly things like that. He could laugh at himself.

Be independent

He also taught us independence.

He showed us how to replace a light bulb, drill into a wall, fix plumbing, assemble furniture, and solve practical problems around the house. Today, every time I fix something myself, I smile because I know exactly where I learned it.

Never Complain

One lesson that has become even more meaningful with age was this: never complain.

My father experienced unimaginable injustices growing up and even later in life. Perhaps one day I will have the courage to write his biography, because his story deserves to be told. Yet despite everything he endured, he rarely complained about those who had wronged him.

Instead, he would simply say, “I can fix myself and my circumstances.”

And that’s exactly what he spent his life doing.

A Man of Prayer

He was also a man of deep prayer.

Every Wednesday he faithfully prayed the Our Lady of Perpetual Help Novena with his worn novena book. He taught us to abstain from meat on Wednesdays long before it became a personal devotion of mine. He brought us to Mass every week without fail and made sure we attended catechism, church activities, retreats, and every obligation of our faith. We often arrived early so we could get good seats.

Faith wasn’t simply something he believed.

It was how he lived.

Outstanding Work Ethic

Finally, my father taught me the value of hard work.

He worked incredibly hard—too hard, perhaps—almost every day of the year to provide for our family. Today, so much of what I have achieved is because of his sacrifices.

As I reflect on my life now, I realize that every milestone rests on the foundation he built.

Grieving a Parent

What hurts most is that he didn’t live to see any of my success.

He won’t see me become a super-specialist.

He never held my books in his hands, listened to my podcast, or watched the ministry God has entrusted to me grow.

He wasn’t there for my graduations or the dreams that have slowly become reality.

That is my greatest sorrow.

But it does not overshadow my gratitude.

I thank God for every year I was blessed to have him as my father. Thank you, Lord, for giving me such a wonderful dad.

Today, one of the greatest compliments I receive is when someone says, “You’re Richard’s daughter.”

I wear that title with immense pride.

My consolation is knowing that this separation is only temporary. One day, by God’s grace, I will see him again. Until then, I know he rests safely in the arms of Christ.

People often say grief gets easier.

I don’t think grief ever ends.

It changes.

Even after ten years, the questions still come. Could I have done something differently? Why couldn’t he have stayed longer?

But even when life doesn’t unfold the way we hope, God is still good.

Like Our Blessed Mother, we continue to pray:

“Be it done unto me according to Thy will.”

A Message to my Dad

If I could say one last thing to my dad today, it would simply be this:

Thank you.

I am who I am because of you—because of your sacrifices, your hard work, your faith, your example, and your unwavering love.

I miss you more than words can ever express.

I wish you could see my car and teach me how to parallel park. I wish you could hold my books, attend my graduations, celebrate the life God has given me, and dance another waltz with me.

But I know you’re waiting for me.

And until that joyful reunion, I will keep living the life you taught me to live—with faith, generosity, forgiveness, hard work, and love.

I love you, Dad.

Always.

May eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May the soul of Paul Richard Fernandes, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

The post Ten Years Without You: The Lessons My Father Left Behind appeared first on PAMELA Q. FERNANDES.

One of the questions I’m often asked is, “How do you know when a book should become a series?” The truth is, there’s no formula. Some series are planned from the very beginning, while others happen almost by accident.

I’ve experienced both.

The To Love a Sportsman series was always intended to be a series. But my other two series weren’t. They grew naturally because readers wanted more, and I wasn’t ready to leave those worlds behind.

If you’re wondering whether your story has series potential, here are a few things to think about.

1. Is there reader demand?

The biggest clue often comes from your readers.

When I wrote Starting Over, I hadn’t planned on writing another book. But the novel was so well received that readers began mentioning in their reviews that they wanted to revisit Henderson County and meet more of its residents.

That was enough for me to start thinking beyond a single novel.

Sometimes the best reason to write another book is because readers genuinely want to spend more time in the world you’ve created.

2. Does your world have enough characters?

A great series needs more than one interesting protagonist.

In my Starting in Henderson County series, each book follows different characters living in the same small town. The town itself almost becomes another character, connecting each story.

The Boothbay Harbor Series works differently. Each novel focuses on a different sibling in the same family, allowing every character to have their own romance while still contributing to the larger family story.

Whether your books revolve around a town, a family, a workplace, or a friend group, your world needs enough compelling people to carry multiple novels.

3. Is there an overarching theme or story?

Readers enjoy seeing continuity across a series.

In the Starting in Henderson County books, the common thread is second chances. Every couple has a different story, but that central theme ties the books together.

The Boothbay Harbor Series explores something much deeper. Each sibling is shaped by growing up with alcoholism and the breakdown of their parents’ marriage. Every book examines how childhood experiences continue to influence adult relationships.

A series doesn’t need one giant plot that spans every book, but it should have something that connects the stories emotionally or thematically.

4. Is there enough story to justify another book?

This is probably the hardest question to answer honestly.

Not every side character deserves their own novel.

I’m wrestling with this right now in the To Love a Sportsman series. The fourth book has gone through draft after draft because I simply didn’t lay enough groundwork for that character in the previous books. I’m constantly writing, rewriting, and trying to discover whether there’s enough story there to sustain an entire novel.

Sometimes there isn’t.

It’s better to end a series while it’s still strong than to keep writing books simply because readers expect another one.

5. Don’t force a series

We’ve all read series where one or two books feel like filler.

You can almost tell the author—or perhaps the publisher—wanted to extend a successful series, even though the story had already been told.

Every book should earn its place.

If a novel doesn’t reveal something new about the characters or move the overall story forward, readers will notice.

Quality will always outlast quantity.

6. Think about your release schedule

Timing matters.

Some authors release a new book every month through careful planning and an incredibly disciplined writing process.

Others publish one book a year.

Some of my favorite authors take one or even two years between releases, and honestly, I think that’s a healthy pace. It’s long enough to produce a polished book but not so long that readers completely forget the series.

There’s no “right” schedule. The important thing is consistency and delivering your best work.

7. Give every book its own satisfying ending

This applies especially to nonfiction, but it also matters in fiction.

I’ve seen authors stretch one idea across three books, ending each one on a cliffhanger simply to sell the next installment.

Readers are smart.

In today’s economy, people have countless entertainment options competing for their time and money. They can usually tell when a series has been artificially expanded.

Each book should provide genuine value and feel complete on its own, even if there are threads that continue into future books.

Respect your readers, and they’ll keep coming back.

8. Be willing to let the series grow naturally

Not every series begins with a grand master plan.

Apart from To Love a Sportsman, none of my series started with the intention of becoming multiple books.

I simply fell in love with the settings and the characters. There were still stories left to tell, and readers wanted to hear them.

Sometimes that’s the best reason of all.

Final thoughts

Writing a series isn’t about producing as many books as possible. It’s about creating a world readers never want to leave.

If you’re considering turning your standalone novel into a series, ask yourself:

• Are readers asking for more?
• Does your world have enough memorable characters?
• Is there a larger emotional or thematic thread?
• Does each future book have a story worth telling?
• Will every installment stand on its own?

If the answer is yes, then perhaps you’ve found not just one story—but a whole world waiting to be explored.

Have you ever abandoned a series because it felt like it had gone on too long? Or do you have a favorite series that kept getting better with every book? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

The post Thinking About Writing a Book Series? Here’s What to Consider appeared first on PAMELA Q. FERNANDES.

“If we get to the end of our lives and if we have followed, been faithful and we’ve prayed and we’ve listened and we’ve gone where He has taken us, we will never look back and regret that decision.”

Lauren Windle

WHO IS LAUREN WINDLE?

Lauren Windle is a British journalist, author, presenter, and public speaker known for her work on faith, love, feminism, and pop culture. She’s the author of Notes on Love, Notes on Feminism, and Drawing as Prayer, and has written for outlets including Vogue, Marie Claire, and the Church Times. A former Christian recovery service founder, she’s been clean and sober from drug and alcohol addiction for over a decade. Lauren has hosted Christian dating shows, co-hosted the podcast Cross Culture, and delivered a TEDx Talk on her journey to recovery, which has over half a million views. She regularly speaks at conferences and events, blending personal testimony with insights on faith, identity, and culture.

Single, Seen, and Still Called

Some conversations arrive at exactly the right moment. My discussion with Lauren Windle was one of those.

When I invited Lauren onto the podcast, I had no idea how much her words would speak into my own life. In fact, she replied to my invitation so quickly that I knew this conversation was meant to happen.

Around that time, I had just moved into a new apartment in a new city. As I unpacked boxes, I caught myself thinking, Maybe I shouldn’t buy furniture yet. It seemed practical enough. Why buy a dining table or decorate a home that might one day belong to someone else too?

Then Lauren shared a story that stopped me in my tracks.

She spoke about a man who had delayed buying furniture because he was waiting for the day he would have a wife to choose it with. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was almost identical to my own thinking.

Sometimes God speaks so gently that it almost feels like a whisper. Other times He uses someone else’s story to shine a light on our own.

Lauren’s point was simple but profound: we are not called to put our lives on hold while waiting for marriage.

We are called to live fully now.

Singleness is not the waiting room before life begins. It is a season of purpose, growth, joy, and service. The deepest friendship and greatest love we will ever know is not found in a spouse—it is found in Jesus Christ. Every other relationship flows from that one.

That truth changes everything.

Dating with intention, not obsession

Lauren also offered refreshingly practical advice about dating apps.

Rather than endlessly swiping left and right until the experience becomes exhausting or discouraging, she recommends opening the app for just two or three minutes. Look at someone’s profile. Consider their hopes, interests, and dreams. If you’d genuinely like to know them, reach out. If not, close the app.

You’ve “done” dating for the day.

It’s such a healthy perspective. Dating shouldn’t consume our emotional energy or become our identity. It’s simply one avenue through which God may choose to bring someone into our lives.

Don’t settle just to avoid being alone

One of the most powerful moments in our conversation came when Lauren said that if our goal were simply to be married—to anyone—we probably could have achieved that already.

But that’s not God’s desire for us.

We’re not looking for just any partner. We’re seeking someone who will walk with us toward Christ, someone who shares our faith and our calling. Marriage isn’t simply about companionship; it’s about discipleship together.

Waiting for the right person may be difficult, but settling for the wrong one is far more costly.

Already chosen

Perhaps my favorite reminder from Lauren was this:

“Being chosen by another person will never define you when you’ve already been chosen by the Most High God.”

How often do we allow our worth to rise and fall with whether someone texts back, notices us, or commits to us?

The gospel tells a different story.

Before anyone ever chose us, Christ did.

Our identity isn’t rooted in relationship status but in belonging to Him.

Grieving with hope

Lauren doesn’t pretend that singleness is always easy. She acknowledges the sadness that can come with missed milestones, changing timelines, and watching friends move into seasons you long for yourself.

It’s okay to grieve those things.

But as Christians, we grieve differently.

We grieve with hope.

Hope that God has not forgotten us.

Hope that His timing is wiser than ours.

Hope that His plans are never second best.

One of Lauren’s greatest encouragements was that God’s plan will never be worse than the one we would have written for ourselves.

That doesn’t mean it will look exactly as we imagined. Sometimes God’s story unfolds in ways we never expected. But we can trust that whatever He has prepared is ultimately better than anything we could have orchestrated on our own.

So if you’re single today and wondering whether you’ve been overlooked, remember this:

Live your life now.

Buy the furniture.

Decorate your home.

Pursue your calling.

Invest in friendships.

Serve the Church.

Keep your heart open, but don’t put your life on pause.

Because the greatest love story has already begun—the one between you and the Savior who chose you first. And every other chapter is safest when written in His hands.

Listen, Share, and Join the Conversation

Check out some of our other episodes on Praying for your Future Spouse and Chastity. If this conversation encouraged you, challenged your perspective, or reminded you that you are deeply loved and seen by God, I’d love for you to share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Please like, follow, and share this episode on whichever platform you listened—whether that’s Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or your favorite podcast app. Every share helps these conversations reach more people who may be navigating singleness, waiting, or wondering where God is leading them.

And if you enjoyed this episode, consider leaving a rating or review. It helps others discover the podcast and encourages us to keep sharing stories of faith, hope, and God’s faithfulness.

The post 125 Single, Seen, and Still Called: Rethinking Love in the Church appeared first on PAMELA Q. FERNANDES.

“God understands suicide.”

Ed Shoener

Who is Deacon Edward Shoener?

Ed Shoener was ordained a permanent deacon in 2004 and serves at St. Peter’s Cathedral in the Diocese of Scranton. Shoener is a founding member of the Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers and the Catholic Institute of Mental Health Ministry at the University of San Diego.

His daughter, Katie, died by suicide in 2016.  Katie’s obituary went viral because it spoke to the needs and concerns of people who live with mental illness. Millions of people read it, and tens of thousands of people from across the world contacted Deacon Ed. Again and again, he heard from people who lamented that the Catholic Church offered little to minister to those suffering from mental illness and their loved ones. In response, Deacon Ed co-founded the International Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers.

The International Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers combats mental illness stigma by promoting compassion and understanding and has provided free resources to parishes worldwide and to individuals and families seeking support, education, and community.  The Association now has over 7,000 members in over 75 countries

Deacon Ed, along with Bishop John Dolan, is co-author of the books Responding to Suicide: A Pastoral Handbook for Catholic Leaders and When a Loved One Dies by Suicide (Ave Maria Press, Notre Dame, IN).

Breaking the Silence on Suicide

In this episode, I talk to Deacon Ed Shoener about suicide.
He explains:
-What makes grief after suicide different from other forms of loss, and what do you most want survivors to know early on?
-Many families and friends wrestle with “what if” questions and self-blame. How can people gently loosen the grip of guilt while still honoring their love for the person who die
-Silence and stigma often surround suicide, even within faith communities. What does healthy, faithful accompaniment look like when someone is grieving a death by suicide—and what responses, even well-intended ones, can be harmful?
-You emphasize that healing does not mean forgetting or “moving on.” How can survivors integrate this loss into their lives in a way that allows meaning, connection, and even moments of peace over time?
-For listeners who may be walking alongside someone grieving a suicide—or who are grieving themselves—what practices of presence, prayer, or professional support do you most strongly encourage, especially in the months after the initial shock fades?

A Conversation We Can’t Avoid:

In our latest podcast episode, we sit down with Deacon Ed Shoener for a deeply moving and honest conversation about loss, faith, and the urgent need for compassion in our communities.

Deacon Ed shares the story of losing his daughter, Katie, to suicide—a grief no parent should ever have to endure. Yet out of that heartbreak, he has chosen to speak, to serve, and to shine a light on mental health within the Church.

He challenges something many of us have seen but don’t always name: when tragedy strikes, especially suicide, people often don’t know what to say—so they say nothing at all. Families are left not only grieving, but isolated. Deacon Ed gently urges us to do better: don’t avoid them. Speak their loved one’s name. Show up. Sit with them in their pain.

One of the most powerful moments in our conversation is his reminder:
“Jesus wept for them far more than we ever could—because He loved them far more.”

This is the heart of the message—God’s compassion is deeper than our fear, our discomfort, or our uncertainty.

Deacon Ed also speaks about the Church’s growing understanding of suicide—not as a simple moral failing, but often as the result of profound suffering and clouded judgment. Many who survive suicide attempts, he notes, are grateful they did. That truth alone calls us to respond with urgency, tenderness, and hope.

What can we do about it?

What’s more, he doesn’t just speak—he acts. He is actively working to build mental health ministries within parishes, encouraging ordinary people to begin these conversations locally, creating spaces where no one has to suffer alone.

This episode is not easy—but it is necessary.

If you’ve ever wondered how to support someone grieving, how faith meets mental health, or how the Church can become a place of real refuge—this conversation is for you.

Listen now, and let’s become a people who choose presence over silence, compassion over discomfort, and hope over fear.

ENJOYED THIS PODCAST

You might also like our conversation on Forgiveness and St Maximilian Kolbe. And if this blessed you, please share the podcast with someone who needs it.

The post 124 Breaking the Silence on Suicide: A Father’s Witness to Love and Loss appeared first on PAMELA Q. FERNANDES.